FUCK ME DEAD HEAD. An abstract experiment of humanity's damnation.

This is not a story. Not some tale spun from bent facts. This is just an attempt at one’s true unheard confessions. My life. The world as I see it placed before foreign eyes. My views untainted by the temperamental society for which I am forced to take part in. Who’s rules I am mercilessly at odds with.

I am young. Naïve. Left alone to face life without a clue or owner’s manual. A maverick personality bleeding through a shy mask with a chivalrous smile. Caught up in a life I believe so unfair yet miraculous in and of itself.

I wish I was somebody else. The hand that fate had dealt me a simple flush to god’s full house. A mind consistently caught in a tumultuous turmoil that never seems to let up. Craving the shelter hidden within the eye of the storm.

My hopes and dreams are devoid of normalcy. The spark of suicide. The idea of something better. I look at what I’ve been given. What I’ve been blessed with. And yet I still feel as though I’ve only ever been compensated for not being given what I’ve always wished I had been given.

Yet with today’s views upon existence. A brilliant mirage of freedoms barred beneath fascism and the everyman’s superiority complex. Jaded am I to dream of a world where the true expression of one’s self isn’t damned and crucified under the banner of political correctness and common decency.

I’ve struggled to give all that I could give. To lend a giving hand without casting a single thought towards what I’m never going to receive in return. The gold standard laid by the righteous to see good in the wicked. And hope within the broken.

Yet I can’t help but glance at the possibilities. The bum I helped with a handful of change. What’s stopping him from cornering me in an alley and bleeding me for the rest I’m worth? I’m examining every instant of my life in where I’m doing the common good that seems to go unnoticed in the everyday and wondering why I’m surprised when I quickly find myself in undesirable situations that could have easily been avoided with a simple ignorance.

But now that would be frowned upon. The world is so concentrated on expecting the community to treat another as equals, whilst stabbing at the hindquarters of rage and sin. They set the example by slaughtering mass quantities of fellow human beings in the name of some righteous crusade. Damning many others with racist labels and propaganda, adding fuel to the raging fire that they pretend to quell with a self-righteous war that only succeeds in sterilizing a nation.

And I’m forced to watch with hopeful eyes as many of my fellow species raises their arms in a salute towards a nightmare we created. The praise we bellow louder than the drowning screams of those we’ve tread upon. Stomping out the last of their beliefs beneath a chant of God Bless America.

And yet we find ourselves victimized as the angry howls of those around us raise in a violent protest. We’ve placed ourselves upon a pedestal while also throwing everyone else to the ground to dwell in the dirt and broken promises we pelt down at them.

I stand here wondering just how I’m supposed to lend a hand to something that will most probably stab me the second they stop to hear my opposing views on the many topics we seem to cherish with a fanatic edge.

Who am I to face a nation who’s so centered more on their own appearance than the needs of the many? It weighs down upon my shoulders with such a strength that I can understand why the entire world seems to bow at their feet while those who can still manage to stand quickly have their feet swept out from beneath them...