Mirror Image, Part 4,

10

Noon.

The middle of the day.

The perfect time to think back on what has already happened.

And look forward at what is still yet to come.

Most people will look at what’s happened as the past, and what is yet to come with bated breath.

I look back with longing.

I look forward with dread.

So I find myself lying in bed hour after hour after hour.

Lost in thought.

Lost in you.

I’m sleepy though.

Sex and lack of sleep can do that to a person.

I should get up.

My mind begs me to go back to the restless sleep I have been struggling through the last few hours.

I open my eyes instead.

Light.

Fucking.

Hurts.

I struggle out of bed.

The complete lack of clothing has the cold hit me like a wall.

I could feel the blood in my veins turn to ice.

My immediate interest locked on to locating and slipping into clothes.

Clothes are also needed to look civilized in this primitive world.

I rub my pale green eyes.

I slip into something warm.

Why is everything getting boring.

Why can’t it stay interesting?

Am I losing that interest?

11

School.

I should have gone to school.

I should have learned to assimilate into this decrepit society.

The norm frowns upon indifference.

We all must be sheep.

Unfortunately I’m defective.

Broken. In a way.

I can’t conform to the ways of the world.

I’ve only ever known how to go against it.

Growing up under the stern thumb. Authority does that to a person.

And while everyone else grows up with the apparent freedoms gifted to those who conform.

Darkness and quarantine are the only rewards to those who dare to be different.

It’s how we’ve gotten so stuck in such a rut.

Creativity is frowned upon.

Unless it can produce a revenue.

I am broken.

I can’t produce anything.

The only thing I can create is bad poetry and sketches.

And neither can create a revenue worth inheriting.

Useless.

The label placed upon me by the many who’ve met me.

Known me.

Learned to despise me.

If one has no worth in this world.

Do they even deserve to exist?

To live amongst those who can hold said worth?

I don’t think so.

But then again.

What do I know?

12

The light.

It burns.

God.

How many times before have I mentioned this?

I’m like a broken record.

Broken.

Is there an echo in here?

I’m looking at a plain white ceiling.

The blankness playing a sense of calm upon my mind.

It felt good.

No memories to drift by like the darkness of closed eyelids.

I look to the left.

Pillows greeted me with their feathery softness tickling my nose.

I sneeze.

Cute moment gone.

I crinkle my nose and turn to the right.

Even more pillows greet me.

Why dost thou need to be drowned in pillows again?

Oh yes.

Because I fear sleeping alone.

But I mostly just fear being alone.

Then again.

Who isn’t?

We all want that someone who cares.

And desire the connection of a sexual nature.

To feel complete with our true other.

We may not notice it at first.

But in the end.

No one wants to die alone.

Especially me.

Mirror Image, Part 3,

7

I open my eyes.

Light poured in.

I shut them tight.

They still hurt.

I felt his arm around my waist.

His head pressed into my neck.

Our naked bodies fitted together like that of the most sexual puzzle.

A razor’s edge.

My mother could walk in at any second.

My father as well.

I start.

But stop.

Let them find me.

My mind says.

Mom still thinks I’m a virgin.

Confrontation would be the only outcome should I let him stay.

I roll over in his arms.

His eyes open.

“Morning?”

I nod.

He sighs.

“Have to leave?”

I nod.

He kisses me.

I kiss him back.

He climbs out of bed.

His body warmth is gone.

I’m freezing.

He quickly dresses.

I watch him as he does so.

Stay in bed. My mind says.

I take a breath and jump out of bed.

I quickly run up to him and give him one last long kiss before he left.

He smiles.

He’s gone.

I jump back into bed.

Curling up into a ball, hiding under a mountain of blankets.

I can still smell him.

I shut my eyes.

But I don’t see his face.

I see hers.

And I want to look in a mirror again. 

8

I wish for wings.

I wish to fly away.

Everything’s a tidal wave.

Threatening to come crashing down atop me and drown me in its massive flood.

We don’t use the title boyfriend and girlfriend.

We don’t use the term ‘dating’.

We just have feelings.

Strong feelings.

We want to be together.

We want to hold each other.

We want to fuck.

In a way we are ‘taken’.

But on the other hand, we aren’t.

It’s been this way forever.

Probably will stay that way forevermore.

But after what has happened.

To me.

To everything.

I want him.

I need him.

I love him.

9

Dreams and nightmares tend to blend within my mind.

Eating away at my sanity.

Leaving me lost and insane within a maelstrom of my own machinations.

Is it day?

Is it Night?

Or is it something else?

Memories clash with fantasies.

Emotions bubbling dangerously beneath the surface of my pale skin.

I was lost.

I was found.

I was everything in between.

Was what happened fate?

Did I deserve to suffer?

I think yes.

They say no.

The contrasting arguments collide with me at every turn.

Everything I think or thought of.

Not true.

They all say it’s a lie.

That it’s not true and I must stop thinking this way.

But I believe it true.

By god do I believe it.

It’s all within the eye of the beholder.

Isn’t it?

But yet again.

Even that question is met with a plethora of contrasting yes and no.

Is there such thing as a true correct answer?

I say no.

They say yes.

Ironic.

Mirror Image, Part 2,

4

Spiraling memories.

Broken hymns.

A single note being played in the air.

One note used but still creating a mesmerizing tune.

I open my eyes.

No light.

Pitch darkness greeted me.

My eyes didn’t hurt.

I watch as the last few days drifted by in the shapes of shattered memories and film.

Step 1: Realization.

I wanted to block out the memories forever.

I wanted to be free from the torment.

But it was something I knew I couldn’t run away from like I had so many countless things before.

Step 2: Comprehension.

I knew I was dreaming.

And it felt good.

I need the sleep.

I watch as the memories reach their crescendo.

Pain and torment and horrific understanding ripping away at my heart and soul.

Why did this have to happen to me?

Why was I chosen?

What did I do wrong?

I can’t answer these questions.

Yet they still bounce annoyingly inside my skull.

Refusing to be forgotten.

I bow my head.

I let the hopelessness consume me.

Step 3: Acceptance.

5

A light knocking awoke me from my sleep.

I open my eyes.

Darkness greeted me in my waking dreams as well.

I must have slept longer than I had thought.

I lay curled up in bed.

Still in the clothes from this morning.

I roll over and look at the clock.

The bright red shapes of 11:42 p.m. burned itself into my eyes.

My parents had long since fallen asleep.

I was alone.

The knocking that had awoken me repeats once more.

Coming from my window.

My mind says ignore it. Go back to bed.

I take a deep breath and get up.

Luckily since I’ve slept upon the covers, my body was used to the temperature.

Thank god.

I walk slowly towards the window.

Who could it be?

My mind wonders.

I peek my head in front of the window, looking passed all the scrawls of petty poetry written upon its surface with a permanent marker.

I see shaggy black hair. A broken smile. Dark brown eyes looking back at mine.

I remain silent and open the window.

He struggles through the slightly small window and looks quietly at me.

He was beautiful. Specific male traits. Though quite the feminine frame.

We stare silently at each other for a very long moment.

“Are you alright?”

Again the word ‘alright’.

I bow my head.

He pulls me close in his embrace.

“I’m sorry.”

A new term I’m going to hear a lot more of before it’s all over.

I look up at him with my pale green eyes.

They were so wide within the subtle darkness.

The moon provided only a shadow of light.

He leaned in and kissed my forehead.

I wished for more.

I needed more.

I lean up on my tiptoes, and kiss his gentle lips.

6

I took his hand and led him towards my bed.

A bit of sensuality added to the sway in my hips.

Lucky.

I was already in my underwear.

We only had to concentrate on taking his clothes off.

Reaching the bed, I turn around and drape my arms around his neck.

Smirking.

Teasing.

He leans in and kisses me once more.

Our tongues weaving around the other’s as our lips meet over and over.

He tasted ever so sweet.

I feel his shirt tickle my nose as it passes over his head.

I expected another kiss.

But none came.

I open my eyes.

And looked into his.

His arms wrapped around my slender waist.

“You sure?”

I nod.

He lays me down upon my bed.

His jeans landing in a heap next to his shoes.

In darkness.

I feel my panties get gently removed and tossed aside.

I see only shadows.

My legs are slowly opened.

I feel a tongue explore me.

A moan escapes my lips.

I feel the tongue slide up my tummy.

My tank top’s tossed aside.

Gentle licks upon my small breasts, punctuated by hard bites to my nipples.

I whispered his name.

He finished his exploration of my body, and prepared to explore something deeper.

I felt his warm breath upon my neck.

I felt the hot touch of his long, hard, cock.

My eyes opened and met with his.

I moaned in anticipation.

He took his cue.

I felt it slide in.

I closed my eyes tight.

He started pushing it in and out.

I moaned and gasped each time I felt him go ever deeper inside me.

His voice whispered in my ear as he went faster and faster.

Sweet little nothings echoing in my mind.

It felt so good it hurt.

I bite his neck.

He groans.

I cry his name.

He smiles.

I climax.

He came.

It may have been a bad decision.

I could have met the same ends with another means.

But I felt loved.

Needed.

And that’s all I wanted to feel again.

Mirror Image, Part 1,

1

I take a breath.

One deep breath.

And then I hold it for a brief second before letting the air slip back out from between my lips.

I open my eyes.

Light.

It hurts.

So my eyes are squeezed tightly shut once more.

My head whispers for me to go back to bed.

But I couldn’t.

Not until I looked into a mirror.

I needed to see my face.

I open my eyes once more.

The burning rays of sunlight razing the surface of my pale green retinas.

Ow.

My mind says to shut my eyes, to dive back under the covers, to sleep once more.

Fuck I am lazy.

I throw my mind aside.

Much like I always do.

And I slip out from underneath the warm embrace of my covers.

Only a black tank and pink short shorts adorned my fragile, slender frame.

Immediately the cold air attacks my bare arms and legs with pinpricks of freezing pain.

Quickly they go numb.

My determination refuses to be deterred.

I skip across the many articles of clothing and books and cd cases that litter the floor until I reach the large mirror hanging from the back of my bedroom door.

I wipe a few locks of my long, faded raven black hair out of my face and take a long look into the mirror upon my door.

I run a few slender fingers down my cheek.

A single tear chasing the fingertips.

“Who are you?” I say to my reflection.

She only shrugs and stays silent. 

2

The sound of shattering glass echoes throughout the house.

The many thousands of shards lay upon the ground like the most mosaic of puzzle pieces.

The bright sunlight reflected upon the many shards.

Blinding my eyes.

It hurt.

My hand was contorted into a tight fist.

And it was bleeding.

The knuckles profusely dripping a beautiful scarlet.

My breathing was ragged.

My face stained with tears.

I slump down to my knees.

I remain silent.

Silent.

Like my reflection.

My door flies open, revealing the distraught form of my mother.

Worry was painted across her thinly lined face.

She sidesteps the glass and falls to her knees.

Wrapping her arms around me, pulling me close and enveloping me in the safety of her embrace.

I break down.

My sobs are muffled into her shoulder.

Her gentle croons whispering into my ear, her tears mixing with mine.

A broken montage of a mother and her child.

“It’s going to be alright.”

Her words echoed dead in my ears.

Because it will never be alright.

Nothing will be alright ever again.

Never when one’s been broken such as I have.

3

I lay upon my freshly made bed.

Light still flooded in.

My eyes still hurt.

I was looking at my bandaged hand with an offhand curiosity.

My dad had cleaned up the glass.

My mom had calmed me down with tea.

The soft tunes of Three Days Grace echoed lightly throughout my room, emanating from the cd player next to my bed.

My cheeks had the faint trails of dried tears upon them.

I hugged myself and rolled to my side.

My hair draping over my face.

Blocking the light from touching my eyes.

They didn’t hurt anymore.

What day was it?

What month?

What year?

I can’t remember.

I didn’t want to remember anyway.

I close my eyes.

Deep breath in.

Ragged breath out.

I repeat the process over and over until I drift off into a light slumber.

Hoping that the few minutes of sleep will help me clear my head.

“Help me.”

Those words leave my mouth.

A single tear accompanies it.

Until I finally drift away into dreams.

Hopefully to finally understand the situation I was in.

But instead I’m greeted by a dreamless sleep.

And the minutes turned to hours.

Red Rainbow.

Red rainbow, red rainbow
A vein's only spout.
A river of crimson.
A distorted shout.
Ejected from flesh with a flurry of poise.
Each pulse casts a wave to ignite tender noise.
Red Rainbow, red rainbow
How deeply you soothe.
With each shattered romance.
Your meaning is proved.
A slip of the wrist to the jab of an arm.
To bring us the pain of one's own self harm.
Red rainbow, red rainbow
My only regret.
Ensuring my lover's.

Eternal lament.

Shallows,

A single tear to stain a cheek.

That final day to end a week.

The final verse to end a song.

That dash of right within the wrong.

A caressed cheek, a gentle hug.

To be held close and oh so snug.

Within the grace of time long past.

Keep holding on to make it last.

A stagnant hole inside a heart.

A tender pain to twinge and start.

The only way to cage the free.

To break the things held close to me.

A blacked out face, a dying muse.

A shattered dream, a long lit fuse.

See dead sun through silver cloud.

Raindrops cast a crystal shroud.

Blocking out all that I am.

I tried not to give a damn.

But I can't stop seeing through.

Through the lies that lead to you.

And it's killing me each day.

Until the day I fade away.

Who, What, When, Where, Why?

Where does one go to find their way?
When all their hope has gone astray?
Where can one run with tear stained cheeks?
With pent up pain that's built for weeks?
I've stood here and wondered this.
Shooting arrows just to miss.
My room a cage I just can't take.
This smile on my face is fake.
Painted on with subtle care.
Just so folks won't stop and stare.
I feel so lost and sick and dead.
Over the things I went and said.
I've realized things I should have known.
I've seen the pain that I had sown.
And now I'm wandering this place.
A love that's gone without a trace.
Where do I go when life goes south?
When only hurt pours from my mouth?
What do I do to make things right?
I'm so far left I just can't fight.
To feel you in my arms again.
To say the words I write in pen.
To heal my heart beat black and blue.
A chance to mean it. I love you.

Click,

His eyes were held closed by the weight of his dwelling lament. A poor attempt at ceasing the flow of tears that seamed to stream endlessly from his deep brown eyes.

Yet etched into the backs of his eyelids was her smiling face. Staring back like she had mere weeks ago. Back when everything was fine. Back when he was hers.

"And why the tears? If I may ask? This is what you wanted isn't it?"

That gentle whisper slips like liquid into his ears. Running through his mind and dripping like icicles down his spine.

Lastly, he opens his bloodshot eyes.

"This was not what I wanted. I never wanted her to leave."

His words tumble out of his mouth in a cascading waterfall of thorns and nails.

Before him stood the devil. Face split open in that twisted smirk, revealing rotten fangs and blackened gums, punctuated by a maggot infested tongue that lolled like a headless snake behind his bloody lips.

"Then why did you do it?" He asks with a single breath, a slight glint in his pitch black eyes. "Why did you say all those delightfully hateful words?"

I look up at him. "Looking back upon it now... I have no idea why... And it hurts..."

Clenching teeth, a pitiful attempt to keep the rising tide of despair from leaking through the many cracks that adorn my broken mask.

The devil's smirk evolves into a sick smile laced with opportunity. "It's because you liked hurting her isn't it. You loved knowing you held the power to make her feel pain. You loved the feeling of exploiting that power. You loved the way she'd twist and break. You know it. You know that's why you did it."

I'm shaking my head violently, digging my nails into my skull as I attempt to cover my ears but still his words break through.

"No no no no no that's a lie. I never wanted to hurt her. I never wanted to make her cry. I just wanted to know I was alive. I just wanted to know I wasn't forgotten."

I'm looking up at the masochistic beast before me. "I was scared."

He just chuckles, a sound like broken glass in a garbage disposal.

"Scared, sad, mad, happy. You were doing what you enjoy to do. And that is cause pain for attention. You were killing an innocent girl just to make her look at you. You wanted attention. And she was already giving you all she could give. Yet you still wanted more. Greed my son. You always wanted more. And it killed her. Haha you murdered her."

I'm screaming now. Pounding my bloody fists against my face. "That's Not True! It's Not! It's NOT!"

"Why fight it? It's what you've always been good at. Killing people. Just like me." He laughs and I'm left staring at him with a lifeless air. My arms limp at my side. Tears spilling from my eyes at occasional intervals.

"I lost her."

Those words split through the silence like a razor through my pumping veins.

The devil nods. "And she's never coming back."

"And I can't live without her."

I can feel the heavy weight of metal in my clammy hand warm up in anticipation.

"She's got someone else to love her now." The devil continues to nod.

A flash of light, a bark of laughter. And the devil's face across from me explodes into a million shards of broken glass. Spilling to the floor and ricocheting across the wet tile floor like a million crystalline razors, opening small slits all over my bare feet.

I look hopelessly at the broken mirror before me.

Before placing the burning muzzle to the side of my head.

I take one final breath.

"So why am I still here?"  

Click.

I Fear,

I fear I may have lost my wings

Now dark and alone

I fear I may have been left to rot

for sins I must atone

I fear this may be the end for me

I wish that it weren`t true

I`m scared of being left to die

to die without loving you

I fear I opened my mouth again

And played a wicked rhyme

I fear I may have angered my lord

and since been lost to time

I fear the darkness is creeping in

into this misguided heart

I fear the devil has placed his mark

Giving me a demon`s part

The lord`s soft words and gentle voice

No longer can I hear

A fallen angel I think I`ve become

I think I`m damned I fear...

Like Me,

Slit your wrists from head to toe


Watch you stumble to and fro


A splat of blood, a break of bone

A haunted tomb, a crooked stone


Bloodied vultures pick for food


Spattered brains left misconstrued


Watch the raven's jagged beak


Split agape and start to speak


Words of wisdom laced in lies


Coughed up like decrepit flies


To acost your mangled corpse


Ripped apart without remorse


Hours pass and shadows wane


Time moves on without the slain


Waste of bullets, waste of time


Blood turns into pasty slime


Lost are you to life and thought


How is it you never fought


To carve meaning to your name


To go without bearing shame


I'm left here, a broken doll


Splitting strings, about to fall


You called for help, I wasn't there


And thus you thought I didn't care


But don't you think that, it's not true


I never wanted to lose you

Now you're gone, eternalized


And far too late I had realized


I'd mucked about too long to see


That you were just as dead as me.

Limbo,

Bright. Bright lights. All around me.

My eyes are opened wide.

Yet the light...

It feels so dark.

I feel like I'm falling.

This.... weightlessness that seems to embrace me in it's invisible caress.

Am I dead?

What happened?

I shut my eyes tightly, the gears within my brain grinding to a halt.

I cannot remember.

Something catches me and cease to fall.

Opening my curious eyes I see nothing but my memories cascading all around me.

Shattering like fragile glass against the impenetrable floor I lay upon.

It's many fragments shooting all around me, cutting me to pieces.

I try to scream but I cannot catch my breath.

It's seems to have escaped me.

I curl into a ball.

Watching hopelessly as my mind explodes all around me.

Catching glimpses of my life as they slide around me like melting icicles upon a ceramic surface.

I see you pressing that knife gently to my throat.

You promised that you'd follow.

But where'd you go?

Why have you left me all alone?

You promised me a better tomorrow.

Yet left me here today.

The first few tears slip down my cheeks.

A blood red to match my wounds.

I trace my fingers along the imaginary figure of you.

Holding me close.

I swear I heard your heart beat.

My fist is clenched.

We promised to go together.

To be immortal forever.

Yet here I cower, all alone.

The fatal wounds you inflicted in the name of this suicidal thing we call love.

Bound in Limbo. All alone.

You just stand there over my body as the last few rays of life drain from my eyes.

Second thoughts.

My last memory, playing like a movie reel.

I saw you set the knife down.

I bow my head in silence as the scene ends.

"I still love you."

Curtains close...


Cue the credits.

Reasons,

"You said you were done with that."

Those words ring hollow within the dreaded confines of Jamie's head.

"It's the only way I can feel anymore..."

He raises his blue stained eyes up from the thick, bloodstained bandages that draped his forearms.

Painted upon Jessica's face is a saddened frown.

"That's a lie." She argues and Jamie stares at her. A look so cold Jessica felt it's icy grip latch upon her heart like a thousand frozen needles.

"Like you are one to talk..." He retorts with spattered venom.

"You've only witnessed the nightmare I have been forced to endure through. You have NO right to judge my situation based upon that."

Jessica is left aghast before Jamie.

He who had once been the most kind-hearted person she had ever had the pleasure of knowing. He who had always gone out of his way to protect all he deeply cared about. Sure his emotions were unstable but that was what made him so alive.

Until he suddenly let this twisted veil of darkness be cast upon his life and completely change the course of his existence forever.

He once was human. Now....

He was simply a hollowed shell of his former self.

"People still care Jamie. I care..." She whispers quietly and looked sadly at her feet.

Jamie watches her for a long moment before letting a scoff echo past his lips.

"No one cares. And those who do are simply casting a grotesque charade in a feeble attempt to keep a grip upon their long lost humanity."

Those words stung poor Jessica. Each word piercing her like a silver embedded bullet through her brain.

"This world we live in... it's hell Jamie. It's what it has always been." She looks back up and into his eyes, her muddy green eyes sparkling an inking of dying hope.

"Life has never been fair. All it ever has done was rip apart families and destroy what little hope we all manage to cling onto throughout our pitiful lives until the day we are inevitably torn away and thrown into the darkness of death. It's all one can do but to hold onto the few things that keep them happy and squeeze out those few droplets of happiness this damning existence can give us."

Her lip quivered. Her eyes beginning to shimmer with the faintest traces of tears.

"You may not see the things worth living for. But I do. There is always a reason to keep on pushing through within this life. God if I've found a reason to keep mine."

Jamie remains silent. Even after Jessica's words have long since faded into silence. All he did was keep his eyes trained upon her.

She reaches out a comforting hand.

He roughly pushes it away.

"There is no reason for me to stay alive." He then replies coldly. Every word slicing away at Jessica's heart like a jagged knife laced with morphine.

"There has never been a reason. Every moment I have ever spent upon this earth has simply been a fucking waste of time. If I had known this is all I would have to life for, I would have slit my throat years ago." He continues.

Unable to keep them at bay no longer, Jessica's face becomes lined with crystal laden rivers.

"None at all?" She silently begs.

He looks right into her eyes.

"None at all."

And with that he casts her a curt goodbye and heads on home. Leaving her standing there alone with only her broken tears to keep her company...

The next day Jamie gets dressed for school, excited to see how everyone will react to his bandaged arms. Barely able to contain his excitement for all the attention he'll get for a few measly cuts and brooding words.

Already yesterdays conversation with that girl Jessica long since forgotten.

And of her?

They found poor Jessica's body in the shower, wrists slit, shower slowly washing away the pool of blood that had formed beneath her.

And a note. Laid upon her bed. tear stained and crumpled, simply read,

"I lost my reason."

IMAGINARY,

I thought I'd escaped the gripping maw of this horrific ordeal...

I thought that by taking my leave from the situation that you'd simmer down and let your hatred die.

But no. I must yet again be the catalyst between you and your demons.

You promise me that it's done. The event has reached it's crescendo, the final curtain has fallen, the credits have thus played.

Yet one little remark from the bowels of my cock-sucking skull cave and it all begins again.

Twelve years of this complete and utter BULLSHIT was supposed to be enough. But no. The sequel WILL play. Albeit more lackluster and less entertaining than the original.

Times like these I wish I had stayed dead in your eyes.

But that bond developed between a child and her imaginary friend is eternal.

You could slit my wrists and rip out my fingernails and shove them in my eyes, and I'd still 'love' you.

It's a love hate relationship. You love me as you beat me. Hate me as you kiss me...

And I keep trailing the razored blade across my neck like liquid silver...

A masochist dance amongst the arms of a sadist. Oh how the feeling feels so good.

The taste of blood lukewarm on my lips, mesmerizing.

All the while you screw me to a rusted cross.

The feel of our sweaty skin heating between the friction of each other's touch.

It could be below zero and I'd STILL be burning for you.

Burning... to a pile of ash.

The way you used to show me how to bleed for you.

Making me smile from ear to ear.

"The bigger the mouth to suck this cock of mine my dear..."

Yet always you stayed silent. Until I didn't want you to talk.

The whispers,, the lies, the cries, the way you make eternity sound so good...

Enough to make this heart split in two.

A simple incision and my seams are splitting. I'm fading away into the back alleys of your minds.

Bruised, beaten, naked, alone.

A broken penny the perfect pen, to cut the truths into my flesh.

You watch from a few feet away, that depraved smile pasted across that wicked face of yours.

Eyes set upon it's prey.

I'm being devoured by the very nightmares I had sought to lock away so long ago. Their syringe teeth ripping away at my tender flesh. My skin tearing, my sinew ripping, my bones snapping, splintering, cracking beneath the assailing anger of a thousand evil men.

Each a personal demon that were born alongside the rotting fetus they fished out from inside of me.

Yet all you do is smile. And keep screaming that you'll never let me go.

"I'll never let you go..."

Why can't you go away? Why can't I stop believing in you? Why can't you be locked away like all the other nightmares inside of my head?

Why can't you die?

My mind is as broken as a shattered mirror. Each piece but a memory of you that you consistently stab into my lungs. Til all I breath is glass, the shattered memories of a broken love.

Another slit along my pale flesh. the blood seeming to flow from the wound like the water in a stream. Washing across my body, dying me a crimson red.

Almost as red as your eyes...

Like a toy with broken pieces, you can pick me up and put me back together, but that won't make me perfect again. I was broken once, you'll only break me again.

Imaginary. In my mind. Yet your touch is so real. So terrifying. Your fingers shocking my skin at the very touch, I want it. Something inside me wants it so.

Yet I just want it to stop.

Why must this never end? as a sequel turns into a trilogy, then a quadrilogy...

My screams the opening intro, the ravaging of my body the main event, and my choking sobs the final scene as the screen thus fades to black.

The promises of another entry to this series openly apparent and advertised.

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

Why can't you die?

Why can't I die?

Why do they keep stealing these promises of freedom away from me?

Why do they keep giving me to you?

You're only my imagination... You're only my imagination... You're only my imagination...

Father.