Click,

His eyes were held closed by the weight of his dwelling lament. A poor attempt at ceasing the flow of tears that seamed to stream endlessly from his deep brown eyes.

Yet etched into the backs of his eyelids was her smiling face. Staring back like she had mere weeks ago. Back when everything was fine. Back when he was hers.

"And why the tears? If I may ask? This is what you wanted isn't it?"

That gentle whisper slips like liquid into his ears. Running through his mind and dripping like icicles down his spine.

Lastly, he opens his bloodshot eyes.

"This was not what I wanted. I never wanted her to leave."

His words tumble out of his mouth in a cascading waterfall of thorns and nails.

Before him stood the devil. Face split open in that twisted smirk, revealing rotten fangs and blackened gums, punctuated by a maggot infested tongue that lolled like a headless snake behind his bloody lips.

"Then why did you do it?" He asks with a single breath, a slight glint in his pitch black eyes. "Why did you say all those delightfully hateful words?"

I look up at him. "Looking back upon it now... I have no idea why... And it hurts..."

Clenching teeth, a pitiful attempt to keep the rising tide of despair from leaking through the many cracks that adorn my broken mask.

The devil's smirk evolves into a sick smile laced with opportunity. "It's because you liked hurting her isn't it. You loved knowing you held the power to make her feel pain. You loved the feeling of exploiting that power. You loved the way she'd twist and break. You know it. You know that's why you did it."

I'm shaking my head violently, digging my nails into my skull as I attempt to cover my ears but still his words break through.

"No no no no no that's a lie. I never wanted to hurt her. I never wanted to make her cry. I just wanted to know I was alive. I just wanted to know I wasn't forgotten."

I'm looking up at the masochistic beast before me. "I was scared."

He just chuckles, a sound like broken glass in a garbage disposal.

"Scared, sad, mad, happy. You were doing what you enjoy to do. And that is cause pain for attention. You were killing an innocent girl just to make her look at you. You wanted attention. And she was already giving you all she could give. Yet you still wanted more. Greed my son. You always wanted more. And it killed her. Haha you murdered her."

I'm screaming now. Pounding my bloody fists against my face. "That's Not True! It's Not! It's NOT!"

"Why fight it? It's what you've always been good at. Killing people. Just like me." He laughs and I'm left staring at him with a lifeless air. My arms limp at my side. Tears spilling from my eyes at occasional intervals.

"I lost her."

Those words split through the silence like a razor through my pumping veins.

The devil nods. "And she's never coming back."

"And I can't live without her."

I can feel the heavy weight of metal in my clammy hand warm up in anticipation.

"She's got someone else to love her now." The devil continues to nod.

A flash of light, a bark of laughter. And the devil's face across from me explodes into a million shards of broken glass. Spilling to the floor and ricocheting across the wet tile floor like a million crystalline razors, opening small slits all over my bare feet.

I look hopelessly at the broken mirror before me.

Before placing the burning muzzle to the side of my head.

I take one final breath.

"So why am I still here?"  

Click.

I Fear,

I fear I may have lost my wings

Now dark and alone

I fear I may have been left to rot

for sins I must atone

I fear this may be the end for me

I wish that it weren`t true

I`m scared of being left to die

to die without loving you

I fear I opened my mouth again

And played a wicked rhyme

I fear I may have angered my lord

and since been lost to time

I fear the darkness is creeping in

into this misguided heart

I fear the devil has placed his mark

Giving me a demon`s part

The lord`s soft words and gentle voice

No longer can I hear

A fallen angel I think I`ve become

I think I`m damned I fear...

Like Me,

Slit your wrists from head to toe


Watch you stumble to and fro


A splat of blood, a break of bone

A haunted tomb, a crooked stone


Bloodied vultures pick for food


Spattered brains left misconstrued


Watch the raven's jagged beak


Split agape and start to speak


Words of wisdom laced in lies


Coughed up like decrepit flies


To acost your mangled corpse


Ripped apart without remorse


Hours pass and shadows wane


Time moves on without the slain


Waste of bullets, waste of time


Blood turns into pasty slime


Lost are you to life and thought


How is it you never fought


To carve meaning to your name


To go without bearing shame


I'm left here, a broken doll


Splitting strings, about to fall


You called for help, I wasn't there


And thus you thought I didn't care


But don't you think that, it's not true


I never wanted to lose you

Now you're gone, eternalized


And far too late I had realized


I'd mucked about too long to see


That you were just as dead as me.

Limbo,

Bright. Bright lights. All around me.

My eyes are opened wide.

Yet the light...

It feels so dark.

I feel like I'm falling.

This.... weightlessness that seems to embrace me in it's invisible caress.

Am I dead?

What happened?

I shut my eyes tightly, the gears within my brain grinding to a halt.

I cannot remember.

Something catches me and cease to fall.

Opening my curious eyes I see nothing but my memories cascading all around me.

Shattering like fragile glass against the impenetrable floor I lay upon.

It's many fragments shooting all around me, cutting me to pieces.

I try to scream but I cannot catch my breath.

It's seems to have escaped me.

I curl into a ball.

Watching hopelessly as my mind explodes all around me.

Catching glimpses of my life as they slide around me like melting icicles upon a ceramic surface.

I see you pressing that knife gently to my throat.

You promised that you'd follow.

But where'd you go?

Why have you left me all alone?

You promised me a better tomorrow.

Yet left me here today.

The first few tears slip down my cheeks.

A blood red to match my wounds.

I trace my fingers along the imaginary figure of you.

Holding me close.

I swear I heard your heart beat.

My fist is clenched.

We promised to go together.

To be immortal forever.

Yet here I cower, all alone.

The fatal wounds you inflicted in the name of this suicidal thing we call love.

Bound in Limbo. All alone.

You just stand there over my body as the last few rays of life drain from my eyes.

Second thoughts.

My last memory, playing like a movie reel.

I saw you set the knife down.

I bow my head in silence as the scene ends.

"I still love you."

Curtains close...


Cue the credits.

Reasons,

"You said you were done with that."

Those words ring hollow within the dreaded confines of Jamie's head.

"It's the only way I can feel anymore..."

He raises his blue stained eyes up from the thick, bloodstained bandages that draped his forearms.

Painted upon Jessica's face is a saddened frown.

"That's a lie." She argues and Jamie stares at her. A look so cold Jessica felt it's icy grip latch upon her heart like a thousand frozen needles.

"Like you are one to talk..." He retorts with spattered venom.

"You've only witnessed the nightmare I have been forced to endure through. You have NO right to judge my situation based upon that."

Jessica is left aghast before Jamie.

He who had once been the most kind-hearted person she had ever had the pleasure of knowing. He who had always gone out of his way to protect all he deeply cared about. Sure his emotions were unstable but that was what made him so alive.

Until he suddenly let this twisted veil of darkness be cast upon his life and completely change the course of his existence forever.

He once was human. Now....

He was simply a hollowed shell of his former self.

"People still care Jamie. I care..." She whispers quietly and looked sadly at her feet.

Jamie watches her for a long moment before letting a scoff echo past his lips.

"No one cares. And those who do are simply casting a grotesque charade in a feeble attempt to keep a grip upon their long lost humanity."

Those words stung poor Jessica. Each word piercing her like a silver embedded bullet through her brain.

"This world we live in... it's hell Jamie. It's what it has always been." She looks back up and into his eyes, her muddy green eyes sparkling an inking of dying hope.

"Life has never been fair. All it ever has done was rip apart families and destroy what little hope we all manage to cling onto throughout our pitiful lives until the day we are inevitably torn away and thrown into the darkness of death. It's all one can do but to hold onto the few things that keep them happy and squeeze out those few droplets of happiness this damning existence can give us."

Her lip quivered. Her eyes beginning to shimmer with the faintest traces of tears.

"You may not see the things worth living for. But I do. There is always a reason to keep on pushing through within this life. God if I've found a reason to keep mine."

Jamie remains silent. Even after Jessica's words have long since faded into silence. All he did was keep his eyes trained upon her.

She reaches out a comforting hand.

He roughly pushes it away.

"There is no reason for me to stay alive." He then replies coldly. Every word slicing away at Jessica's heart like a jagged knife laced with morphine.

"There has never been a reason. Every moment I have ever spent upon this earth has simply been a fucking waste of time. If I had known this is all I would have to life for, I would have slit my throat years ago." He continues.

Unable to keep them at bay no longer, Jessica's face becomes lined with crystal laden rivers.

"None at all?" She silently begs.

He looks right into her eyes.

"None at all."

And with that he casts her a curt goodbye and heads on home. Leaving her standing there alone with only her broken tears to keep her company...

The next day Jamie gets dressed for school, excited to see how everyone will react to his bandaged arms. Barely able to contain his excitement for all the attention he'll get for a few measly cuts and brooding words.

Already yesterdays conversation with that girl Jessica long since forgotten.

And of her?

They found poor Jessica's body in the shower, wrists slit, shower slowly washing away the pool of blood that had formed beneath her.

And a note. Laid upon her bed. tear stained and crumpled, simply read,

"I lost my reason."

IMAGINARY,

I thought I'd escaped the gripping maw of this horrific ordeal...

I thought that by taking my leave from the situation that you'd simmer down and let your hatred die.

But no. I must yet again be the catalyst between you and your demons.

You promise me that it's done. The event has reached it's crescendo, the final curtain has fallen, the credits have thus played.

Yet one little remark from the bowels of my cock-sucking skull cave and it all begins again.

Twelve years of this complete and utter BULLSHIT was supposed to be enough. But no. The sequel WILL play. Albeit more lackluster and less entertaining than the original.

Times like these I wish I had stayed dead in your eyes.

But that bond developed between a child and her imaginary friend is eternal.

You could slit my wrists and rip out my fingernails and shove them in my eyes, and I'd still 'love' you.

It's a love hate relationship. You love me as you beat me. Hate me as you kiss me...

And I keep trailing the razored blade across my neck like liquid silver...

A masochist dance amongst the arms of a sadist. Oh how the feeling feels so good.

The taste of blood lukewarm on my lips, mesmerizing.

All the while you screw me to a rusted cross.

The feel of our sweaty skin heating between the friction of each other's touch.

It could be below zero and I'd STILL be burning for you.

Burning... to a pile of ash.

The way you used to show me how to bleed for you.

Making me smile from ear to ear.

"The bigger the mouth to suck this cock of mine my dear..."

Yet always you stayed silent. Until I didn't want you to talk.

The whispers,, the lies, the cries, the way you make eternity sound so good...

Enough to make this heart split in two.

A simple incision and my seams are splitting. I'm fading away into the back alleys of your minds.

Bruised, beaten, naked, alone.

A broken penny the perfect pen, to cut the truths into my flesh.

You watch from a few feet away, that depraved smile pasted across that wicked face of yours.

Eyes set upon it's prey.

I'm being devoured by the very nightmares I had sought to lock away so long ago. Their syringe teeth ripping away at my tender flesh. My skin tearing, my sinew ripping, my bones snapping, splintering, cracking beneath the assailing anger of a thousand evil men.

Each a personal demon that were born alongside the rotting fetus they fished out from inside of me.

Yet all you do is smile. And keep screaming that you'll never let me go.

"I'll never let you go..."

Why can't you go away? Why can't I stop believing in you? Why can't you be locked away like all the other nightmares inside of my head?

Why can't you die?

My mind is as broken as a shattered mirror. Each piece but a memory of you that you consistently stab into my lungs. Til all I breath is glass, the shattered memories of a broken love.

Another slit along my pale flesh. the blood seeming to flow from the wound like the water in a stream. Washing across my body, dying me a crimson red.

Almost as red as your eyes...

Like a toy with broken pieces, you can pick me up and put me back together, but that won't make me perfect again. I was broken once, you'll only break me again.

Imaginary. In my mind. Yet your touch is so real. So terrifying. Your fingers shocking my skin at the very touch, I want it. Something inside me wants it so.

Yet I just want it to stop.

Why must this never end? as a sequel turns into a trilogy, then a quadrilogy...

My screams the opening intro, the ravaging of my body the main event, and my choking sobs the final scene as the screen thus fades to black.

The promises of another entry to this series openly apparent and advertised.

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

Why can't you die?

Why can't I die?

Why do they keep stealing these promises of freedom away from me?

Why do they keep giving me to you?

You're only my imagination... You're only my imagination... You're only my imagination...

Father.