By God.

Her name was little annie
She was no fucking orphan
She had a thing for daggers
And god she loved that morphine

She came into my castle
Begging for some change
I took her by the hand
And god it felt so strange

I led her to my bedroom
Each step a popping cyst
My grip it did so tighten
And god did she resist

She lay upon the pillow
Head held back in sigh
I fucked her bleeding pussy
And god I made her cry

I took towards my kitchen
Her arms drug on the floor
I grasped her tender nape
And god she must be sore

I flung her on the counter
Her head bobbed side to side
I grabbed that butcher's blade
And god that's how she died.

~Heckyl

Dinnertime.

Think of the children
Caught deep in their way
So mindless, so thoughtless
Who frolic and play

How dare they speak nonsense
Spilled out from cleft tongue
To bleed out contusions

In which harmony's sung

They rake and they claw
For momma to please
And rip out plain eyeballs
It's oh but a tease

I'm filling their throats up
With razors and clay
Between gasping breaths
They spit and they spray

They wanted a mother
What they got was a knife
Plunged into their skulls
An abrupt end to the strife

Now daddy's now hungry
He craves to be fed
Oh I'll give him something
I'll feed him the dead

On bones he'll be snapping
And livers and lungs
His children appeasing
Betwixt spittle and dung

Now mommy's the monster
Within nightmares I dwell
But to the outside world
By god, I'll never tell...

.Genderless.Episode.28.

A silent clearing.

A sleeping world behind me.

Construction signs before me.

I sat there.

A stream of steady smoke trailing from a lit cigarette hanging loosely between my lips.

Counting the stars above me.

Hugging my lone backpack to my chest; I quell the flood of thoughts racing through my head.

Slitch.

The Shallows.

My father.

Charlie.

Where I was going to go.

How I was going to get there.

It was terrifying.

So I just kept counting the stars.

I felt someone sit next to me.

“Don’t lose count now hun.”

Too late.

“Doesn’t matter. I got forever to count them.”

An arm wraps around me.

“So have I.”

I lean into him.

“You really are quite the guy Charlatan.”

He chuckles quietly.

“I take pride in making a good impression.”

A moment passes.

“You mourning the loss of your only home as well?” He asks, staring straight ahead.

I nod.

“I’m lost now.”

He rests his head on mine.

“I am too.”

A few minutes become a few hours.

We stayed like that.

Huddled together until the sun started peeking up, casting its blinding tendrils of light across the brightening sky above us.

Charlie lastly stands up and stretches.

“Going for a walk?” I ask.

He chuckles.

“Something like that.”

I bow my head.

“Hey.” He says and I look back up and see him holding a hand out to me.

I felt a smile slip across my face.

“I’d love it if you’d accompany me.”

And I saw the smile I’d never thought I’d see.

And then thoughts of everything ran through my mind.

Of Slitch.

Of The Shallows.

Of my father.

Of Charlie.

Of where I was going to go.

And of how I was going to get there.

I admit I was terrified.

But I knew.

I wasn’t alone.

.Genderless.Episode.27.

A tap upon a curtained window.

Followed by movement.

Standing outside the window of Slitch’s  mobile home.

I smiled a little when she opened the window.

“Freak?” She asked in surprise and I nodded.

“The one and only.”

A witty response.

A frown was my reward.

“What are you doing here?”

I sighed a little.

“I’m taking a chance.”

She cocks her head in confusion. Fuck I loved it when she did that.

“What chance?”

I lean in and kiss her.

“I’m getting away. From here. From everything.”

I said that with a little more enthusiasm than I’d meant to.

Her frown only deepened.

“Why?”

She was scared.

Hurt?

I take a breath.

“Everything I’ve fought for has fallen apart. My home is gone. And the home I had to return to almost killed me. I want it all to stop. I want to be free again.”

I look at my feet.

“And I kinda wanted to escape here… with you…”

A blunt explanation.

A moment passed to let my words hang in the air in silence.

Then she started to quietly cry.

I try to kiss her shoulder but she pushes me away.

“Why can’t you just stay here?”

I close my eyes.

Looking at the situation for what it was.

“I can’t.” I finally reply.

She looks at me with tearstained eyes.

“You’re only fifteen… neither of us would last long out there.”

I stroke her cheek.

“They’re better chances than what I’m faced with here.”

She kisses my hand.

“I can’t.”

My heart cracks.

She sighs, “I have a place here. And you do too! You just have to find it.”

I bow my head.

“The thing is, I don’t want to find my place here anymore.”

She looks away.

“Then you’re going to have to find your place without me.”

My heart stops.

And the world around me begins to fade away.

“I can’t make you.”

Those words flow quietly from my lips.

“And I can’t make you stay.”

I stare at her, a tear slipping down my cheek.

“I’m going to miss you.”

She nods.

Silent.

“I…” I stop.

“I love you too.”

Those words…

I watch her bow her head once more, then close her window.

And I stand there for a good long while.

Before turning and walking away.

Leaving a trail of my shattered heart behind me.

.Genderless.Episode.26.

Staples of pain sewed shut the mental scars I’ve been struggling to keep sealed for so long.

Yet a sea of tears and blood had rusted the metal and aptly allowed the pain to spill out once more.

A traumatic recession into the memories that I’ve long since trapped away in the cobwebbed corners of my long haunted mind.

I hid for days within the constricted confines of my decrepit bedroom.

My notebook overflowing with the rants and musings of an over emotional mind.

Never had I hurt like this before.

Never did I ever see this pain going away.

I think I’m broken.

It was times like this that I ran away to the Shallows.

Charlatan had showed me a way out.

Of the pain.

The memories.

The suicidal tendencies.

Now the door’s been slammed shut in my face.

Leaving me to flail around in the darkness, looking for something.

Anything.

That could grant me the same amount of happiness that he had shown me.

I sit up.

Wipe my tears.

Maybe.

Maybe I shouldn’t wait.

Maybe I shouldn’t just lay here begging for a miracle to come take me away.

Maybe I should make it happen myself.

Within moments I’m prepared.

A bag filled with just essentials.

Plus, my notebook.

Maybe I shouldn’t be waiting for a path to open up for me.

Maybe I just have to take a chance.

And open one up for myself.